Dear MSN,

Seriously. This picture does nothing to put me in a Holiday mood. I do not care that it’s a “fun” parade float. I do not care that this is considered to be the french-fry dispenser by children the world over. I DO NOT CARE. It is early and I don’t appreciate being greeted by a building-sized air-filled clown whose expression is less “Happy Holidays, kiddies!!!” and more “Please, I beg you, get this light pole out of my ass.”

Sincerely,
[redacted]