Hot Shots, Part Deux (featuring a post-Heidi but pre-Denise Charlie Sheen)

Personally, I love learning valuable life lessons.

Though, if I'm honest, I'll admit to you that at THE TIME of the aforementioned incident I was not aware that a life lesson was, in fact, being learned. I was merely overcome with the kind of blinding anger that makes you think (if you're female) that maybe that Bobbit guy really did have it coming.

Because hacking off human appendages is a totally acceptable manner in which one may channel their anger. Totally.

So, getting back to the actual story, I was only able to bask in the glow of my revenge for a grand total of two days. But back in high school two days was like 4.7565 months. You could wow your friends with your long-standing relationship of two weeks because IN THE WORLD THAT IS HIGH SCHOOL two weeks was like an unfathomable eon-ic amount of time. So two days... well. That was a long time in which to bask.

But at the end of day two I was informed of some very unfortunate circumstances. Though 'informed' may be the wrong word choice. Witness, maybe. Yes, we'll go with witness. Because it definitely happened within my field of vision. But it was transmitted into my brain via a fax transmission from the Powers That Be with the glaring RE: line first gaining my attention:

RE: Your revenge has backfired you ignorant pissant

Because there in the Burger King, a moderately popular hangout simply because the land that is Small Town America is populated with generic eating establishments rife with possibility for the teenage adventurer, WAS THAT BLAZING HUSSY OF A NOTSOEX GIRLFRIEND AND MY BEST FRIEND MATTEO, NUZZLING LIKE DEER IN MATING SEASON.