Red Sky At Night, Sailors Delight

Yesterday morning I woke up to the sun shining around the edges of my brown curtains.  The little cat, Lilly, was sleeping in a tightly curled ball tucked against my ankle.  The fat one, Llama, was perched regally on the windowsill, his nose peaking out from behind the curtains as soon as I showed the first signs of consciousness.  Nothing about the morning was any different from any other morning that I’ve opened my eyes to but I can tell you, I can promise you, that something was different.  Whatever that extra sense may be, however it manifests itself inside your particular existence, I knew this day was different.

I’d felt the beginnings of a Tingle the afternoon before- but I’d been unable to place it.  If I’m honest, I knew what it was but I was too timid to commit myself into believing such a shift of power could have occurred.  But by yesterday morning it had grown stronger, persistent in it’s attempt to force my acknowledgement. 

But I waited. 

I showered and dressed, pulling my wet hair into a pony tail.  I was anxious.  Anxious and almost dreading the confirmation of what I was feeling. 

So I drove to work. 

The closer I got, the stronger the feeling.

The elevator was crowded, the collection of colognes and perfumes almost visibly hovering in the air above me.  Through the door, across the floor, shoes softly landing on the carpeting.  The phone at my desk, red light glowing steadily from the bottom right hand corner. 

My hand was light, not heavy, not like you’d think it would be.  It felt like I was trying to manipulate cotton candy into a semblance of dexterity. 

And in thirty seconds my life changed, presenting me with a choice that impacts me far greater than most will realize.  It’s a promotion, some will say.  Better pay.  Much better pay.  Better hours.  More responsibility.  An actual career path. 

But until that moment when I picked up the phone, that particular path wasn’t even an option for me.  Until that moment I had only one option- now I’ve been presented with two. 

I can stay here, cash a bigger paycheck and work on meaningful projects.

I can leave here, cash a loan check and learn the ins and outs of a new career. 

I know which one is better.  I know which one I’ll choose.  Sometimes those aren’t the same. 

But if you’re lucky, they are.