Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Mae West by Northwest

This evening I’m heading out to Shotgun Dan’s for some pizza and beer, emphasis on the beer. I’ll be honest and say that I am normally a Liquor Girl, which is easily and quite frequently confused with Fruity Drink Girl. Fruity Drink Girls are normally just past the legal drinking age and are usually heavily involved in sororities. They are mesmerized by the possibility of being given a White Rose at a super secret fraternity ceremony and giving it up to the Frat Boy President because he’s totally going to call tomorrow. Fruity Drink Girls can also be above the age of sixty-five because, hello, have you ever been to Atlantic City?

Liquor Girls, quite obviously, drink liquor. And even though this liquor may occasionally be spiced up with some cranberry juice or a twist of lime, given the choice of on the rocks or frozen, we will choose on the rocks. I prefer things like cosmos and dirty martinis and the ever-popular Long Island iced tea. Frozen choices are reserved for times when a dessert is warranted but a creamy concoction of tiramisu just doesn’t cut it.

Definitions now aside, I can’t say as I have anything more to add about this evening’s coming festivities. Only that I’m ready for an evening with a very frosty mug full of very frosty beer.


duckie said...

a woman that can drink liquor on the rocks AND drinks beer is AOK in my book.

Drunken Chud said...

for the record i never mix the two up. in fact, i have a foolproof way of figuring out exactly which of the two a woman is. here it is:

"i'm heading to the bar, can i get you a drink?"

amazingly, they all open up to in ways you'd never believe. and let it be known that woman who claims to be a drinker then orders a zima... instantly traded to my buddy for a pitcher and some smokes.

Jason said...

mmmmmm...now I want a Long Island...

...and it's noon and I just woke up...hmmmmm...I might go get one anyway.

Prego said...

I've always wanted to be that guy who sips the 20 year old scotch, winces, and then gives a throaty "smooth." Maybe in another ten years.

Also, Fruity Drink Girls and their octogenarian counterparts are also known to imbibe drinks in colours that don't occur in nature.... another no-no.