Laaaaa la la la Weeeeeee! <--Sounds one makes on a rollercoaster

Might I give myself a pat on the back?

I think I shall!

In the past 6 months I have:

1) Quit/got fired (the word choice is entirely dependent on my mood, it’s really a gray area) from the most miserable job on the planet with groping technicians, leery-eyed salesman, a coked-up boss (not kidding) and a married office-mate who insisted on trying to have sex with me. Repeatedly. And with much uncomfortable-ness on my part. Not to mention really angry, vocal customers with limited vocabulary.
2) Tossed Jon ß look look! I can say his name without vomiting or throwing something! After 15 months of utter bullshit, he is officially out of my life. There has been not one single phone call, email, or in-person meeting since the first of November when he was unceremoniously kicked to the curb. Granted, the way I removed him was kind of shady but that is, unfortunately, on what we were based: utter shadiness. So while I regret the way I removed him, I do not regret the removing.
3) Quit drinking excessively. There’s nothing like drinking yourself into a stupor… KIDDING. It was never that bad…. But there was definitely excess amounts of fundage spent on liver-killing liquid.
4) Quit smoking. And I mean QUIT smoking. Not the pansy-ass quitting that I’ve done in the past. I haven’t cheated- not once. No lie. I made a deal with God, which everyone seems to find vastly amusing, that I would not smoke. I am not breaking a deal with God. That would be tantamount to strapping 40 pounds of cocaine to my chest and trying to pass through US customs. It just ain’t worth it.
5) Started working out again. Granted, it’s been three and a half weeks. And I’ve probably not lost a pound since through a hilarious trick of the genetic lottery I’m “blessed” with the ability to gain muscle mass at the speed of light but shed fat and poundage about as fast as Bush’s reign is passing. Yep. That would be heinously slow. But I don’t care. It’s making me healthy and already my decrepit, 80-year-old scoliosis-ridden back is feeling mounds better.
6) Not become attached to any f*wits, losers, drug dealers or men who are “otherwise occupied.” It has been made clear to me by friends and through the hours spent in reflection now that I do not waste time smoking, drinking or yelling at psuedo-friend-boy that I have a bit of a problem. They (friends) refer to it as commitment phobia. I refer to it as plain stupidity. And though I have had the occasional lustful thought concerning a passing boy with a ring on his finger or a certified friend-girl, I have not transferred that sporadic lustful thought into action or even flirting. I haven’t flirted with anyone since, oh, I don’t know, mid-November. Definitely not since I started working at my current job. It kind of feels like I’m floating. Not the creepy air floating but the floating with water under you.

It’s very peaceful having a virtually drama- free life. I mean, it’s never entirely drama free. I still have ulcers, though they pop up less frequently. And I still have no money though I made myself a budget and tried to balance my checkbook for last month. Though naturally I became overdrawn again this week. But I didn’t use my credit cards ONCE this last month. So there is something of which to be proud. And my brother makes me crazy sometimes. And my cats drive me batty when they bat picture frames and books and breakables around. But overall, I just had to say good-job-to-me. I stress over small things and hence had to write down some things that I could un-stress about.
So la-ti-da.