Thursday, June 02, 2005

HOLYA CRAPOLA

DO YOU FOLK REALLY THINK I'D REFER TO MYSELF AS A TRUE LADY?

OF COURSE I USE THE WORD 'PUSSY'

examples:

"Get outta my way you fucking pussy!" <--- this is said almost every morning and is aimed at ANYONE AND EVERYONE who is in my way.

"He is SUCH a pussy" <--- used in reference to the giant douche bags with whom I work.

"Have you ever wondered what it would be like to have a pussy on your head?" <--- rhetorical thinking. While intoxicated.

"She blatantly flaunts that pussy" <---- used to describe brazen hussies that let their shit hang out of skirts, 14-year-old girls dressed like hookers and anyone sporting a camel-toe.

and the most recent use of the word 'pussy:'

"MY PUSSY WAS NEARLY BURNED RIGHT OFF BY THAT NAIR SHIT!"

total word 'pussy' word count: 7

15 comments:

meghansdiscontent said...

Yes, on second thought, you do use pussy a lot. The word, not the item. Though you should use the item more. I think you would be happier. I know certain men would be happier. And by certain men, I of course meant Duckie.

lilylala said...

let's not forget the infamous (or soon to be) "ryan is such a pussy, i think he might be gay". if he is gay can we have a threesome with him, his hot gay friend and myself?!
hugs and kisses and good luck with the word pussy!

birdie said...

meghan: thanks for the pep talk, buddy. GLAD TO KNOW THAT EVERYONE THINKS I'M A FRIGID BITCH.
kidding.
kisses.
i'm not frigid.. i'm just.. hell i dunno. selective? lazy? or maybe that i spew venom at passerby? i have no idea. i'm tired of hearing this next phrase "men are just afraid of intelligent women, sweetie." DON'T TELL ME I'M INTELLIGENT, MOTHER/GRANDMOTHER/WELL-MEANING FRIENDS. That's just a cop out. Ugh. Depressing moment. Moving along. DINNER! Dinner is in one hour! yay! and i'm not cooking it! even better!

lileeee: even better: "Ryan is such a flagrantly floppy pussy, he MUST be gay." And yes, that means you get to have a REALLY HOT threesome with his very delicious gay friend.
thanks, pussy! i'm going to try to use the word PUSSY in as many was as possible because it's so obviously immature to be yelling about PUSSY so why not just go ahead and make a fucking scene? yay! PUSSY!

sqg said...

erm...
How about a drink? :)

duckie said...

you've got to stop saying pussy. It's getting too much for me to handle.

Meghan is right. I would be happier. mmmm. Internet lusting over Birdie's nanny.

sqg said...

heh!
Stop following me around duckie!

meghansdiscontent said...

Jesus, I haven't thought about Birdie's pussy this much since that incident Freshman yea. . . . wait . . could that be. . . nevermind, I think it's the tiredness talking . . no wait, that wasn't a pussy . . that was a dick . . .attached to a guy who was a complete pussy and liked birds - mainly chicken. So, to sum up - not birdie's pussy. A pussy who liked Birds. Glad I got all that out.

sqg said...

Ok. I'm gonna ignore the rest of that comment and just focus on that first line. w00t!!!

Tell us more!!! :)

Sun Rider said...

As an outsider to this little group, I am so confused.

Still, friggin' hilarious conversation.

Carl from L.A. said...

...and make sure you use the word "dick" as much as "pussy" - gender balancing is important.

lol...you are one nutty bitch

grace said...

nah. i never thought you were a true lady. why the fuck do you think i hang out here???

ty bluesmith said...

ditto on what duckie said

J.D. said...

Huh, Huh, you said pussy!

meghansdiscontent said...

Poor sunrider.

Someone should clue in the outsider.

What do you have questions about?

I'll try and sum up what I can. I'm a friend of Birdie's from college. Lily is a friend of Birdie's from work. Duckie is someone we don't know but whom we lust for incessently . . mainly because he's a God among men. SQG is a self exiled former Arkansan whom we have met only via blog content, but whom we respect, admire and enjoy. As for anyone else, I'm as lost as you at this point.

James said...

fuck should always be said in the same sentence with pussy. Nothing wrong with a little pussy (or alot). Hehe.