Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Red Sky At Night, Sailors Delight

Yesterday morning I woke up to the sun shining around the edges of my brown curtains.  The little cat, Lilly, was sleeping in a tightly curled ball tucked against my ankle.  The fat one, Llama, was perched regally on the windowsill, his nose peaking out from behind the curtains as soon as I showed the first signs of consciousness.  Nothing about the morning was any different from any other morning that I’ve opened my eyes to but I can tell you, I can promise you, that something was different.  Whatever that extra sense may be, however it manifests itself inside your particular existence, I knew this day was different.

I’d felt the beginnings of a Tingle the afternoon before- but I’d been unable to place it.  If I’m honest, I knew what it was but I was too timid to commit myself into believing such a shift of power could have occurred.  But by yesterday morning it had grown stronger, persistent in it’s attempt to force my acknowledgement. 

But I waited. 

I showered and dressed, pulling my wet hair into a pony tail.  I was anxious.  Anxious and almost dreading the confirmation of what I was feeling. 

So I drove to work. 

The closer I got, the stronger the feeling.

The elevator was crowded, the collection of colognes and perfumes almost visibly hovering in the air above me.  Through the door, across the floor, shoes softly landing on the carpeting.  The phone at my desk, red light glowing steadily from the bottom right hand corner. 

My hand was light, not heavy, not like you’d think it would be.  It felt like I was trying to manipulate cotton candy into a semblance of dexterity. 

And in thirty seconds my life changed, presenting me with a choice that impacts me far greater than most will realize.  It’s a promotion, some will say.  Better pay.  Much better pay.  Better hours.  More responsibility.  An actual career path. 

But until that moment when I picked up the phone, that particular path wasn’t even an option for me.  Until that moment I had only one option- now I’ve been presented with two. 

I can stay here, cash a bigger paycheck and work on meaningful projects.

I can leave here, cash a loan check and learn the ins and outs of a new career. 

I know which one is better.  I know which one I’ll choose.  Sometimes those aren’t the same. 

But if you’re lucky, they are.    

11 comments:

Coyote Mike said...

~grin~

Interesting how often people get that sixth sense feeling, but ignore it.

What does your gut tell you to do?

Anonymous said...

Corngranulations! That's awesome. Nice to have options eh...as well as a bit of clairvoyance? I hope it all works out the way you wish, you seem to be a person with a great brain and great direction.

Texas Roxy

Drunken Chud said...

whatever path you choose, should find the budha along this path, you must kill him.

Laurie (aka buggy) said...

Chuddy you are CRAZY. :)

Congratulations Birdie!!

PJ said...

Congrats Birdie!! i think it's great you've been recognized for your efforts!

as for your question, it depends on your goal. the question is, do you feel so strongly about your passion that you pursue it now OR does a bigger paycheck allow you to pursue your passion at a better time (save $$ and help you out later) which means delaying your gratification?

my thoughts anyway.

Chris said...

Congrats! Choose the one that will make you the happiest regardless of money. Piece of mind is worth more then money. Do was is best for you.

Jenni said...

Sounds like an exciting place to be in, Birdie! Best of luck in all your endeavors.

Carl from L.A. said...

Congratulations on your promotion. Take the money.

Now I know we all have our dream jobs and goals and stuff, but nothing ever happens the way we plan it. I'd like to finish my Ph.D. in statistics some day, but it's not practical so instead I'm chugging along in my very stable job for the last 15 years. Is it a perfect situation? No. Am I content? Yes.

oakland heidi said...

Oooo. So exciting... This was my favorite post. Favorite. I can't wait to hear what you choose. I think I know, but....

writinglady said...

Whatever you choose, know you won't starve. No one will let you wind up on the streets, so no matter the path, the worst can't happen. Have fun!

rob said...

But until that moment when I picked up the phone, that particular path wasn’t even an option for me.

Heh...it's like "Schrödinger's Job"