Monday, October 16, 2006

See, what happened was

Last week I bought some new Lower Sugar! oatmeal, because I figure it can’t hurt me to consume less sugar and I imagined that if they took away the ass fatening sugar they replaced it with the fake sugar.

BOY WAS I WRONG.

What is the deal here, folks? You think I want to eat vaguely sweetened insta-oatmeal? Do you? You are so very mistaken. If I have to pour four packets of Splenda on the top just to make it bearable then you should add someone smart like me to your marketing team, someone who will point out on the box that while it may be lower in sugar, you will probably have to add double your usual amount just to choke it down. And then I’d point out that the now fake super sugary taste will probably not distrct you from the fact that when we took your sugar we replaced it with Goo.

I do not like the excess Goo. It is gooey and strange and it makes a weird gooey mess in my bowl.

6 comments:

Adam said...

You're so hoping the CEO googles Low Super! oatmeal and offers you a multimillion dollar contract to keep it real. Aren't you?

Adam said...

Super and Sugar are very similar words.

birdie said...

i don't judge.

Adam said...

I imagine you definitely wouldn't eat Low Super! oatmeal.

YoJ said...

Yknow there's a chick in my office who eats the weight control oatmeal. As soon as she cooks it, the whole office REEKS of maple & brown sugar.

I switched all the packets in the box to regular oatmeal. I didn't even feel bad when she said, "I don't understand why I'm not losing any weight!"

'Nother spoonfull darlin?

Cindy-Lou said...

The only low fat item I can take is Hidden Valley Ranch Light. Granted, it's only like 47 grams of fat versus the 98 grams in regular, but still. Every other light food sucks.

P.S. Don't EVER give in and try the low fat peanut butter. Just...don't.