Friday, January 21, 2005

Save the Environment- Plant a Bush back in Texas

The title of this blog is perhaps my all-time favorite bumper sticker. Though not normally a fan of the back-of-the-car acoutrements expressing hate for mean people, political preferences, love for one's wife, or the fact that real women drive trucks, this is a sticker I would definitely consider brandishing on my vehicle. Though I'm sure no one can guess why...
Once upon a time, I was a fervent sticker-maniac. My ragged out camo-green 1993 Jeep Cherokee was covered in a veritable smorgasbord of stickers for the unfortunate driver who found themselves trailing my bumper to feast their eyes upon. I had stickers advertising my Eurpoean travel (stickers for The Netherlands, France, Belgium and Spain were placed on opposite sides of the rear glass along with a stereotypical Spanish black bull placed over my rear window taillight), stickers proclaiming that I was, in fact, a goddess, and one lone sticker asking you to "Please Use Tongs." The 'Tongs' sticker was actually, er, borrowed from the cafeteria on the campus of UCA. Until 1998, that sticker adorned the plastic cover over the ice cream cone bin. Heh. And as a present to me (as I had frequently admired the outright strangeness of making a sticker with the phrase "Please Use Tongs") my freshman roommate acquired it for me. Bless her.
But after I sold my Jeep for a new vehicle, I decided that the sticker fetish would die with my beautiful Gidget. (Gidget was the name of the Jeep. Gidget the Jeep.) My new car - a 1998 Montero Sport - lacked the jovial personality of Gidget. She seemed more refined, more luxurious. Possibly due to the fact that it was my first vehicle to ever have power locks or windows. I was high rollin. So this vehicle was christened Annabelle, a much more white collar name. That vehicle was followed by a 2002 Jeep Grand Cherokee, christened Dulce de la Noche. Don't ask why. I am fully aware that it makes no sense to name your car Sugar of the Night. It was just amusing at the time of purchase and unfortunately the name stuck.
And now, my world-renown short attention span has reared it's ugly head. I want a new car.
Okay. To be quite clear, it's not that I really want a new car. But Dulce drinks gas like it was lemonade... and it appears that my payoff amount is lower than my trade-in value. (WHAT? I have equity in my car? What is this nonsense?) So now would definitely be a good time to get out while my miles are low, my equity is high and gas prices are "reasonable" compared to what they were a couple of months ago. Meaning that I'm banking on the public to have forgotten about the $2.10/gallon we were paying not so long ago. And herein lies the problem:
I desperately want to convince myself that I should by a compact car. One that gets 35mpg... even in the city. A slight change from the 17mpg average I've got going in the Jeep. But I'm in love with SUV's. It's a vanity thing. I love them. They're beautiful. I am superior to the civic's, jetta's and accent's of the world. And more importantly, my ass does not drag the ground when I drive them. So maybe I can compromise with myself and purchase a compact SUV? Is this the solution? The Saturn Vue gets just as good gas mileage as a mid-sized sedan. And it's significantly better than my Jeep. Not to mention a lovely GM employee discount thrown in for good measure.
We shall see. I'm test driving cars tomorrow. I am leaving ALL bank information, employee information, etc at home so I am not even TEMPTED to purchase a vehicle on the spot. A common theme in my life as a car-buyer. But I am breaking the cycle. I will test drive, compare crash test ratings, MPG, safety equipment, etc until I arrive at a vehicle that does not totally offend me.
And since I've already placed an order for the above referenced bumper sticker, I have a feeling this car may be the one that gets to advertise my political leanings for the first time in vehicle history.

Nighty-night and cross-continent hugs for my soldier. Three more months!!!!

1 comment:

soldier0fortune said...

Heh, i gotta say my favorite tag 'as gotta be 'Please dont mind the body in my trunk, it was an accident.' Considerin' he had a rolled up carpet sticking out of his boot i just about pissed myself laughing.

By the way, i dont believe it, someone else who has read The Messianic Legacy...