Monday, April 04, 2005

And Then There Was Cake.

Walked through haze and fuzz and a general malaise until 1:20 pm today.

It's Monday, I thought. I'm allowed to be in a haze. The kind of haze that makes you yawn and drop a bit of drool on your shirt because you couldn't be bothered to raise your hand to cover your mouth, dampen the yawn sound or even curb the saliva production for the brief two seconds your mouth was open to the world in all it's pink moist glory.

I'd been thinking about cake. Dreaming about cake, actually. Due in part to my crash diet (i know i know, not healthy) last week. Diet was an attempt to lose pounds before my, ahem, interview in Memphis. This meant not one gram of carboliciousness graced my quivering tastebuds for 7 whole days. Misery, I tell you, absolute misery.

So I thought, Yes, it IS Monday. Perhaps I need a bit of cake?

And in my almost drunken-like haze I shuffled down the hall, into the elevator and down to the company cafeteria. Where I knew, just KNEW that there would be cake.

And lo and behold, as I crossed the threshold into the wing of the building I so rarely venture (because there are too many smells and strange food products known only as "casserole of ____" and "stuffed ____") I see them. THE LINE OF CAKES RESTING OH SO GRACEFULLY IN THE GLASS CASE.

Which one do I want? The carrot --with it's buttercream frosting? The lemon-- with it's sugary glaze? Or, yes OR the CHOCOLATE with not only a shimmering chocolate glaze but ribbons of creamy fudge icing delicately criscrossing their creamy paths and sliding down the side in mouth-watering fudge glory.

"I want the chocolate cake.......... um, Please."

Years of training GONE in a few brief seconds where carbs, sugar and chocolate cake have taken control of my brain in an effortless coup d'etat.

I shoved a five under the nose of the cashier, hands almost trembling in anticipation. My hormones, dormant since mid-November, came RUSHING BACK and almost knocked me off my corn-ridden toes. I WOULD SO MAKE OUT WITH THIS PIECE OF CHOCOLATE CAKE IF ONLY.... IF ONLY....
Well, if only I didn't have that pesky inanimate object rule. damn.

BUT I ATE THAT CHOCOLATE CAKE LIKE CHOCOLATE CAKE HAS NEVER BEEN EATEN BEFORE.

And the Lord said "Let there be cake!"
And there was cake.
And it was good.
Amen.

2 comments:

Jbsss said...

You know what is weird. Sometimes, and this is rare, I actually need to get a chocolate fix. Cake is prolly the best way for me to get it too. Cake = guud. Nuff said about that. I thought the whole chocolate thing was a girl thing. Looks like I am wrong once again. There is a shocker.

sqg said...

"Years of training GONE in a few brief seconds where carbs, sugar and chocolate cake have taken control of my brain in an effortless coup d'etat."

roflmao!! -another priceless post birdie!