Friday, April 22, 2005

The Roof (of my mouth) is on Fire

So the other night I'm sitting at work, quite like I'm doing now, when Steven turns to me and says,

"I bet you can't eat a whole bag of flamin' hot Cheetos"

"I assure you I most certainly can."

"I bet you can't. I bet you can't do it without tearing up. And not getting any water. I bet you can't do it!"

You see, I had been mercilessly teasing Steven about a certain incident involving a bag of the aforementioned flamin hot Cheetos and something I like to refer to as the "male hissyfit." He'd eaten an entire BigGrab bag of the holy grail of spicy chips the night before and then started grasping at his tongue while scraping the remaining bits of Cheetos into the trashcan under his cubicle. His whole face turned red and he bolted his skinny ass into the hallway to dunk his mouth under the water fountain, returning with a full bottle of water. He was even somehow able to push his tongue into the opening of the water bottle and let it sit in the blessed coolness all while trying to explain to me how very, very hot his tongue had become and how very, very uncomfortable his poor weetle mouwfy was.

I had no choice but to laugh. Really.

So I took him up on his bet, like any self-respecting human being.

Our agreement was that I had 5 minutes to eat the whole bag and I couldn't have any water for 30 minutes.

Please, people. I eat jalepenos out of the JAR.

And I ate that bag of flamin hot Cheetos. And I never made a sound or pushed my head under a water fountain. I even continued to work while ingesting the crunchy, spicy fries.

And now... I have proved to men the world over that I have bigger balls than the entire cast of Surreal Life 2.

That's right. It's the one with Ron Jeremy.

4 comments:

meghansdiscontent said...

Sometimes, I'm slightly frightened at the things you feel you need to do. Including proving yourself to some insignificant. Please tell me he was at least attractive . . . .

What have we discovered about the gorge-mous firehouse lofts we were looking at Friday night?

We must talk . . . I don't know what it is about you and ESPesque qualities, but directly after vehemently denying that the boyfriend was moving in, he made mention of possibly cohabitating sometime soon. After offending him deeply by screaming "Are you kidding! Don't you think it's a little fast??!?!" I have begun to think seriously about it . . . very bad idea???

sqg said...

Way to go girl! Damn lame ass fool that can't handle the hot stuff! -lol

I'll have to try those. :)

And always remember, a pizza can never have too many jalapeno peppers!

Jbsss said...

Birdie,
YOU ROCK! Yeah to the layman one might not apreciate the finer things in a woman.....BUT NOT ME!

Sorry been buisy lately with *cough*gaming*cough* and working on this project that is now a couple weeks late that has a seriously nice payday at the end of the rainbow. I just finished it. It rules. Its totaly boring really but the time it will be able to save the people getting the software application will be worth the dam near 3 grand its gonna cost em.

Posting tonight. Its nice to be missed. Specially by such a gal as yourself ;) .

Anonymous said...

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