Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Snoopy

So. I'm sitting at work and thought:

"I should be productive."

mental silence.

"Perhaps I should clean out my yahoo mailbox?"

mental silence

"I will take my mental silence as acquiescence."

And I proceeded to use company time, just like I'm doing now, to play on the veritable abyss that is the Internet.

Upon doing so, I came across some interesting old emails from months and months and months ago. Even a few from 2003, I'm ashamed to admit. Obviously some email house-cleaning was way overdue.

Among them:

An email from Jon, wishing me the best of luck in all my future endeavors. Before you roll your eyes, let me first tell you that Jon was in NO WAY wishing me the best. It was all a power play. He'd already played his hand at screaming at me over the phone, screaming at me through my apartment window and waiting (to scream at me, I'm sure) in the parking lot of my office, smoking a cigarette, cool as can be, watching me walk to my car. It was a game of intimidation. I had won the previous round, thinking naively that the game was over. This email was the end of the communication. I'm still not sure if he's just biding his time or if I really won. I've stopped looking for him everywhere I go. And I hear he's moved to Oklahoma.

Emails from Nick& Hillary, evil roommates with whom I moved to New York, detailing how they were not going to be paying the gas bill from our Staten Island apartment and how they were not going to be paying for my laptop that they surreptitiously stepped on and cracked. My emails back to them, explaining why they were responsible. Never losing my temper. The laptop was never paid for and the gas bill was paid by yours truly. But that's okay because I replaced the cherry-flavored Jell-O in the fridge with some Jell-O of my own, made my very own urine. Oh, and I crushed a pack of Ex-Lax into the 3 liter of Dr. Pepper. Immature? Yes. Ask me if I give a shit.

Emails from Matt when he was overseas in Iraq. I couldn't bring myself to get rid of all of them, so I kept the good ones, ones that involved more than a "Hey, I'm alive, it's hot, miss you."

Emails from the boy that I got set up with several months ago. Great email conversationalist, he was. Unfortunately, he was obsessed with his 8% body fat and my, like, 98% body fat. And he had chicken legs. And he thought I'd blow him because he showed up in a 45-thousand dollar car. Au contraire, mo fo. I knew I didn't like you as soon as I saw your ridiculous 2-seater. How practical is a 2-seater sports car? Well, I'll tell you. It's not. Not at all. And he thought rock music was just too loud. Somehow, these things did not come up in email. I was even going to give him a chance as a plain-jane friend until he made derogatory remarks about The Cure.

Emails from possibly the sexiest man in the world. As usual, the sexiest man in the world was "otherwise occupied." (aka married/with girlfriend or with child) And he wasn't just sexy because of his outside, though his outside is scrumdiddlyumptious. He was the most thoughtful person I've ever met. Ever. I've never seen a male be so good, so relaxed, so comfortable, with anyone and everyone. Oh, and let's not forget his smart-kid status. I'm a sucker for smart kids. I am quite proud of myself about him though. I realized how snazzy he was before I knew about his "otherwise occupied" status. I'm NEVER into anyone unless they are a) not going to be into me or b) otherwise occupied. I must have picked up a residual other-woman scent from him.... :)

Emails from people I used to work with in New York. Some of them were unopened.

Emails I had sent to myself thinking I would have time to later read articles from online-newsources. My favorite was the article I sent myself on "Why scientists knows aliens exist."
If you've read previous journal entries, you'll understand why I'd be so concerned with this topic.

Okay Okay Okay I have to go back to work now because I've put off actually working ALL DAY and now I've only got an hour and a half left to do my whole day's worth of work. I love me. )

6 comments:

Jbsss said...

Nice post. Ummm where does "Snoopy" come into this?

You know, you say you are fat but every time I read something like that in your posts I reopen your profile pic and I just dont see it. You sure you are not just being hard on yourself there little lady?

Good for you on the roomate thing. My wife had a similar situation with two girls that she tried to stay with while in college. She just did a midnight run on em. No pee pee in the jello mold. I didnt like those girls anyways they were definatly a couple of

Cee
U
Next
Tuesday
Sweety

Kind of gals.

Well Just wanted to drop in and say Hi. I dont get on as much as I would like and still enjoy reading your stuff. So ummmmmm
HI !!!!!!

*hugs* and all that.

birdie said...

1) Snoopy because I felt like I was snooping through my own email... yes, I'm a little nuts

2) Roommates were the devil. Not entirely proud of myself for the piss Jell-O... but whatcha gonna do. I was a bit passive aggressive at the time... what can I say?

3) The boy really was obsessed with his 8% body fat. And I'm by no means obese, but I think I've recently become hungup on the fifty, yes, fifty pounds I've gained in 6 years. I let a bad incident color my world (or color me bad, heh) and I've only just started to realize why it is I do what I do and did what I did. It's just a sucky-ass process realizing you've got such a long way to go.

4) Very nice use of the word CUNT. I think I'll say that word again. CUNT. cunt cunt cunt.

bitches.

sqg said...

Funny, I was cleaning out my various emails, pm's and such today also. Ah, reminiscing time! :)

Oh, and remind me to never do anything to piss you off! -lol

Jbsss said...

Something about a woman saying the "C" word sends shivers down the ole spine. Dunno why... its so naughty. Bad girl.

meghansdiscontent said...

First - who are the oddities leaving you comments. Intrigued here.

Second - read my latest blog - I actually wrote today. Though I think it was more an expression of extreme anger than writing. In case you've forgotten www.thinkingsilentlyaloud.com

Third - what the hell did you do all weekend, have yet to hear about the scariness of date. Haven't heard from you since lunch on Friday. Speaking of . . did Stephen and I tell you of meeting Mike Hunt - swear to God that's his name.

Finally - Call me - much to tell you. Love ya, crazy.

meghansdiscontent said...

whooops . . . thinkingsilentlyaloud.blogspot.com -- but figure you know that part.