Monday, August 08, 2005

My friend Brittany noticed that I was happy on Saturday. Well. HAPPY is a relative word in my universe. I suppose one would categorize me as "happy" if I wasn't spouting off venon at random passerby or emanating disgust and loathing at The People Who Make It Their Business To Annoy Me. But still. I suppose it was a rare occurrence. Which is quite sad. But still.

So here was a rundown of my Saturday. This is in hopes of being able to possibly isolate whatever it was that made me less of a venom-spitter:

I get up early so as to be at work. On my day off. I stop at the McDonalds on Broadway for some steaming coffee. I drive to West Little Rock. I park relatively close the doors since it is Saturday and only 1/8 of the employees manage to drag their ass in. I wear my sunglasses into the building because it's still awfully bright and my eyeballs may melt. I ride the elevator to the fourth floor. I scan myself in and walk slowly to my desk. Notice that everyone else on my team is already there. Except for one. So I'm not the last. Thanks be to the Traffic Was Light Gods. Sit at chair. Make scathing remark to sarcastic chica that sits behind me. Was appluaded by my manager for my barb, it being not five minutes since I had walked in the door. I remind everyone that though the coffee is IN MY HAND do not assume that is HAS BEEN INGESTED. Then notice that manager had brought sausage and egg biscuits for us to consume. I'd hate for him to think I didn't appreciate his gesture. So naturally I ate one.

I work. Laugh and laugh and laugh at the stupid stories we all tell in an effort to amuse ourselves, sad as we are that it's A SATURDAY and we're WORKING in a CUBICLE.

Our system goes down unexpectedly at 2pm so our manager tells us it's a sign from The Fates and we should all go. Possibly because he rides a motorcycle to work and it was about to rain. But who am I to question one's motives, BE THEY NOT PURE??

I stop at Hobby Lobby after finishing up in the office and purchase a frame for the picture my madre got for my kitchen. Very nice lady doing a little cha cha dance in some advertisement for Cuba. So I get home but realize I have no picture hanging aparati. I rifle through my tool bag, finding only wire and screws and some dangerous looking long nails. So I screw in the nails on either side of the picture frame. I wrap wire around each screw head and then secure around the nail I pounded into the wall. I AM BRILLIANT. Who needs store bought mounting equipment WHEN YOU HAVE A FULLY FUNCTIONING BRAIN???

I change clothes and head to Conway to visit Brittany and her new live-in. We shop. We eat. We watch Eddie Izzard. She comments on my happiness.

The End.

Now. Tell me WHAT WAS IT ABOUT THAT DAY that left me venom-less??


Chris said...

It was because you did your good deed for the day, your scathing remark to your coworker. You were praised by you boss for the remark therefore it must have been a good deed thus filling your body with overwhelming joy that carried on through the day.

lilylala said...

i myself believe it to be the picture frame you finally purchased to get oversized picture out of backseat of vehicle. yeah!!!!

Pandora said...

Surely its the shopping? The spending of my husband's money always puts a smile on my face! Did you perhaps, indulge in something completely ridiculous and outragously expensive with say, a lifted credit card?

Oswald Croll said...

The rain sucks the life out of people....even the anger.

BTW.... My dorkiness was never obscure.