Thursday, August 18, 2005

Notice: Weird Femaley Crap Discussed with Slight Mention of Actual Feelings

Yesterday, after a quick pop over to the library on lunch to exchange books, I was sitting in my car reading a novel written by one of my favorite authors. She writes offbeat mysteries and whatnot. Normally in series fashion. So I'm sitting and I'm reading. Very excited because had library-ed three of the books in the series from library over weekend and had devoured them quickly and with great ferocity. Completely out of order as they were, I didn't care one whit. I read and I basked in the loveliness that inhabited the space between my eyeballs and hands as the words on the pages beamed themselves (much as free molecules of internet beam themselves into my macketymacmac) into my salivating head. Yes, much like Pavlov proved, I do salivate at the thought of a good book. Or during a good book. I haven't had any, er, attention, since last October and even then it was HORRID and so I HAVE TO GET MY JOLLIES SOMEWHERE, PEOPLE, CUT ME SOME SLACK.

So I'm reading and as I mentioned before, I'm quite excited. Excited because the book the ghetto library near work had in stock is the one that appears to have come one, maybe two books after the last one in the series I read. And I'm happy to be reading things in a somewhat orderly fashion. I'm reading in the car, like I said, engine running, windows up (I enjoy the complete silence offered by the confines of my car as opposed to the din offered by the company cafeteria) and a/c blowing cool air onto my feet and face. I hit page 45 and BAM!.


Now, up until this point, I thought I had come in at the book directly following the one read on Monday. OH NO, MY FRIEND. I HAVE APPARENTLY SKIPPED A VERY IMPORTANT HAPPENING IN THE LIFE OF MY HEROINE. BECAUSE IN THE PREVIOUS BOOK, MARTIN WAS ALIVE and now he's DEAD.

Obviously, I am disturbed.


I couldn't possibly fathom my heroine continuing life without Martin. DAMN HER. And do I get an explanation? A little back story? NO. Just the casually thrown in "widowed one year ago, today" bullshit.

Now. Here's why I happen to be so pissed off (and I worn you, I'm about to venture into that murky world reserved only for unattached single women who find themselves, however reluctantly, looking at the world and thinking WHAT THE FUCK? THAT BITCH IS GETTING SOME {loosely translated to mean 'receiving love and undying affection and lots of great hoo-ha} AND I'M NOT??

Aurora (the heroine) meets Martin in on of the books in the mystery series. And though these books are by no means sappy love story things, there is an element of upheaval when Aurora meets Martin. Because heroines have personal lives, you know. Even if they DO go about solving mysteries and whatnot. As it happens, Aurora meets Martin while standing on the front steps of a house, filling in for her real estate mogul mother. She's been drafted into helping show a house to a prospective buyer. (Unbeknownst to anyone is the fact that a DEAD BODY LIES IN THE MASTER BEDROOM, shiver.) Martin gets out of the car. Martin looks at Aurora. AND IT IS DONE.

Now. Don't lie to me. At some point in your life you've looked at someone and KNOWN. Just absolutely and without a doubt KNOWN that every ounce of lust and need and want you felt in that split second is mirrored, reciprocated and MAGNIFIED by the other person. It's not JUST a lust thing, either. It's one of those moments when you stop thinking about the stupid crap in your head and let The Fates push you along as They Wish. Instantaneous. For whatever reason, that person belongs in your life.

Though sometimes we do a damn good job of screwing that up.

But I digress. This was Martin and Aurora. Nothing would be easy. They had two completely different lives. But BOTH OF THEM accepted the connection and BOTH OF THEM did something about it. Instead of being pansy asses and scratching a ball sac or two.

All in all, this gave me faith. If someone can write about this, then it has happened to people other than me. And therefore IT WILL HAPPEN AGAIN.


I am very upset about this, Ms. Charlaine Harris. I read the rest of the book, much as I didn't want to, and I admit it was as good as the rest. BUT I'M STILL PISSED THAT YOU BUMPED MARTIN OFF.


Chris said...

Poor Martin...Poor Birdie.

meghansdiscontent said...

Call me and remind me again and I will bring you that whole series, minus the one you said you've already read.

In fact. Tell ya what. Borrow that one for me from the library. I'll read it and return it within three days to you and you can borrow the whole series minus that one.