Monday, February 13, 2006

SWF seeks a work environment where The Phone is not surgically implanted in my skull.

I need some suggestions.

As previously stated, there's a strong chance I won't get in to radiology school because of those pesky prerequisites.

I'm in a weird work position- my company was dissolved, leaving me in a transitionary stage with another company that took over the responsibility of it's employees. And yes, I'm tempting the hands of fate with this post because I don't necessarily want to get dooced but I can't say I'd just shed a whole bucket of tears if they fired me because of my website. I'd make a button and wear it everyday so people could know how dagnabit cool I am.

Aforementioned transition is how I became an Ass Wiping Specialist.

Which is why I stand at the coffee pot and absorb the blessed silence, away from the idiots of the world who INCESSANTLY CALL MY PHONE.

I turned down two job offers because I was OBVIOUSLY HIT IN THE HEAD WITH A BLUNT OBJECT and thought it would be good and trustworthy and loyal and shit of me to stick out the transition.

Oh, how I was mistaken.

So now, here are my skills:

Writing - I love it, just not sure if I want to make a career in it again. I used to work for local new stations and write newscasts. Fun times- just lots of death and destruction.

Post-production - I can budget and post produce a mean Volvo radio spot. With Benjamin Bratt*, no less.

*I rode the elevator with him when he came to do his voiceover in New York. I almost fainted he was so yummily scented and delicious looking. He asked me how I was doing. I grunted. Obviously I lost about a bazillion cool points for that episode of COMPLETE UNCOOLNESS.

Automotive dealership - I can smile at customers, tell them about throttle bodies and oxygen sensors and file a warranty claim.

Automotive finance - I can approve a contract, check for errors, chit chat with dealers and be generally unobtrusive.

I can make simple power point presentations.

I can work alone and without the micromanaging interference of superior monkeys.

I can work in conjunction with the micromanaging interference of superior monkeys.

I can make simple non-linear edits on FinalCutPro and AVID.

I can bullshit people into thinking I'm smarter than I really am.

I fail to color coordinate my shoes. <-- not necessarily a skill, but it definitely livens up office decor.

I like puppies but not dogs, stacks of post it notes and long walks on the beach with my laptop.

HELP. ME.

I'm willing to go back to school- but not for a masters in rhetoric and writing which sounds like oodles of fun but guarantees NADA in the job department. I'd just be 40 grand in debt working a less-than-30k-a-year job with a really snazzy degree.

HELP. ME.

I am SO having a mid-twenties life crisis.

14 comments:

i, Bobo said...

You, Robin Holmes, are intelligent, witty, and emotionally available enough to compose some very compelling prose. You appear to have a genuine and natural talent for writing and that is not something to be trifled with, particularly if you enjoy it. Get an MFA in creative writing, work on that first book, and teach while you’re doing it. And as difficult as it is to admit it, I think you’d actually be a pretty good teacher -- although I'm not entirely sure how you’d react when some snooty little coed full of piss & vinegar screeches "go fuck yourself" and storms out of your class...

Drunken Chud said...

if i had a company that was making any money, i'd so hire you. to all those things. automotive sales, powerpoint, and most of all my non linear editing. i mean, i'm a pretty mean editor, but hey, why do it yourself if you can pay someone to do it. though, of course that would mean i'd have to have shit to edit... hrmmm... scratch that. good luck in the job hunt.

Coyote Mike said...

Go apply at your favorite coffee-shop. Then you get to insult customers, and get free coffee.

PJ said...

Birdie, sweetie, why don't you try doing one of those Myers Briggs tests, or go to the library and check out some career books, or even go see a career counselor? Maybe there is something out there for you that you just haven't been exposed to yet.

I know for me I was in Int'l Finance for FOREVER and then I quit and had no idea what to do. I went from temp agency to p/t jobs at Universities and still couldn't figure out what it was I wanted to do. Then I realized my first love was helping others (counseling others) so I decided to pursue counseling.

What do you love to do so much that it would get you out of bed in the morning? What inspires you?

Write it out. Your dreams and passions. Let your mind go a little far and stretch it. It'll come to you, hon, I'm sure of it!

the belligerent intellectual said...

Why not just marry rich? I mean I get the whole "do something meaningful with your life" thing, but I can confidently say that if I were an attractive woman I would marry rich, develop a skill or start a foundation with his money and then get a divorce. The only caveat is just make sure he's an asshole so you don't feel too bad about it.

Problem solved.

Carl from L.A. said...

Print media is on its way down - don't go there.

Government jobs are more stable than the private sector. Find an entry level job, even if it's clerical, get a foot in the door, and work your way up.

A lot of time, work experience is as good as educational experience. Say you are interested in radiology - go find a lab and get an asst position or something like that, which will help you down the line.

Keep your eyes open. Most people don't end up doing what they plan (or like) to do. Apply to everything - if they think you are qualified, then you are qualified.

Barry S. said...

I like carl's ideas. If you want to get into x-ray or MRI like you have mentioned, there might be some x-ray assistant positions out there. Or, if you haven't already, I would suggest observing in an x-ray or MRI department for a half-day; that way you can get a true idea of what you will be doing. I would try to explain, but its better to go see it firsthand.

You are quite the writer as mentioned here before, maybe you could try journalism? Or radio? I have had countless people tell me I have the perfect voice and face for radio.

oakland heidi said...

oh plum... I feel you 100%.

Why O why are we so stuck? Is it that we are late bloomers, or are those other seemingly happy 20 somethings just faking it, and they too have no clue what they want to do?

I have taken millions of those what color is my parachute and personality letter tests AND they have told me nothing. NOTHING. nothing.

I would have to say I completely agree with the marrying rich advice. he he heee... if only it were so easy.

If you want to write the great american novel, which I agree: You are definitely talented enough to do, don't get an MFA. It will seriously put you in the financial hole. There are millions of MFA's out there who will tell you the same. My roomie is one. 70,000 in the hole and still plugging away on her 5 year old lap top. If writing is your passion, lets find you a less painful day job that will let you click click click away on the keys at night. One that doesn't suck your will to live, but maybe inspires you. (uuuhhh... duh? Isn't that what you're already looking for?)

I'm no help at all... I'm in the same position as you. Keep me posted if you find an answer...

i, Bobo said...

Yeah, the debt issue is valid, especially if you're going to YALE or something. But I would argue that two of the best schools that teach writing are public (Iowa and Montana) and relatively cost effective once you've established residency. I think my main point was that after an initial settling in period, teaching at the college level affords a great deal of time for creative activity -- and if said creative activity happens to coincide with the academic discipline of your department, then you're in great shape till the book comes out. Not to mention the fact that you’d be working with people who were as equally excited about writing. I mean, it’s not always going to be sunshine and kittens, but think about how much other stuff you could get done if you worked a 15-20 hour week…

oakland heidi said...

i, bobo is right... my friend is a professor and I often envy her life... I just think getting hired at University that isn't in rural New Mexico can be a bit of a challenge with so many candidates out there. But, seeing as Robin is attractive, bright, talented, and ambitious... it could be done in a snap.

Coyote Mike said...

Ooh! Ooh! You could start a cult, then have all your members sell their homes and give you the money!

See, problem solved. Plus, you get to write your own sacred texts: "Thou shalt drive fast and raise thy middle finger at slow drivers"

kate said...

Ok here is the thing... You will wake up in 10 years and this will be a very distant memory... You are young and without many responsibilities (well no kids or spouse anyway) so why not explore the world for a bit and figure out what you want to be when you grow up? You never know who you will meet or what you will discover about your hidden talents/desires! You are a great writer, so perhaps blog your way through the journey and/or submit the idea to a magazine... perhaps they would pay you! Idk... but good luck!!

Chris said...

Start your own business with Arbonne International. They have grown in the past 5 years and grew 150% in 2005 over 2004. I know network marketing scares people but it accounts for over $1 Billion in just the US alone. Just a thought. Check into it and if you are curious to know more let me know.
My Arbonne site

Mighty Dyckerson said...

Honey, you are so cute. You can wipe my ass anytime! Or better yet, allow me to wipe YOUR ass with my tongue!

Oh yeah, and stay away from careers in the media. It's no place to be if you're sick of asswipes.