Wednesday, August 23, 2006







Dear CNN,

On your payroll, you employ a person whose sole job it is to find stock photos and images. I know this because in New York, like, where I worked, there was a guy named Adam who totally rocked out at that job. He could find you stock footage of a melancholy avian on a blue bench in a snowstorm in Ecuador.
But this? You chose to display an airbrushed anime’ version of a stygian overgrown human fetus with red glowing eyes? Seriously, I’m going to need further clarification on this one because where I come from, this picture is more Hell’s Gatekeeper Worries About Decapitation, Loss of Retirement Funds and less Average Worker Complains of Boredom, Lack of Challenge in Workplace.

Regards,
[redacted]

7 comments:

Drunken Chud said...

ahh the woes of being a shakily employed gatekeeper of hell. the hours are nice, the benefits are nice, but... the people are assholes.

YoJ said...

Bad choice indeed.

duckie said...

i think I might get bored working the gates of hell. Not nearly as cool as working the front door and some swanky nightclub in New York like your cousin Ted and our mom reminds you of that fact EVERY time she calls.

Drunken Chud said...

you got a point there duckie. even worse if it was your brother who was working the door of the club. i'd just have ma's phone number blocked. i mean shit, as the gatekeeper of hell, you can do these things.

trueborn said...

bwahahahahahahahahahahah.
Simple rule of thumnb Birdie, people are stupid....
Love your letter though

duckie said...

hey chud, I never thought of it that way. You could even give mom an affliction of some sort if you wanted. Evil has it's privileges

Cindy-Lou said...

I think that's funny. Every once in a while you've got to use an inappropriate picture. Otherwise you'd just get bored.