Sunday, March 06, 2005

Ok. So I had to stop watching my movie just a minute ago because it was FREAKING ME THE FUCK OUT.
I'm not quite sure why I rented it because I'm never interested in seeing scary/creepy/psychologically whacked out movies. I'm interested in knowing WHAT HAPPENED but i'm not interested in actually WATCHING them.
For instance: The Village. I proposed my hypothesis of what was actually happeneing in that movie to a friend of mine that had seen it the night before. There was a nice discussion about the movie-- where I ascertained that I was correct and my hypothesis became a theory. I was spared the creepy music, monster sounds and the inevitable moment when I scream into the movie theater darkness "NO!! you IDIOT! DON'T GO UP THOSE STAIRS! RUN AWAY! STUPID BITCH!"

So anyway. I was watching "Forgotten" just a moment ago... and everything was going pretty smoothly. I'm in the house by myself so that shows you it hasn't been that creepy so far. Otherwise I would have stopped it. So Julianne Moore is running from scary scary NSA people after ripping the wallpaper off this guy's wall and trying to prove to him that he has a daughter. So she's running and running and we can hear her breathing hard and I'm starting to get a little disinterested because there's a lot of running going on and I'm not quite sure where we're taking this... when she careens around a corner and stops, panting, against a wall. Music gets a little creepier. No big deal. I think it's about time for the NSA to come out with guns blazing or some such nonsense. But no. She just calmly looks up at the sky, staring into the pretty, billowing clouds. Oh, look. Maybe she's staring at a plane? Nope. No plane there. A bird? Nope. Sky looks pretty empty. Looking to the heavans for guidance? Um. Doesn't look like it. But wait. What's that in the coulds? The clouds are moving! And my, how quickly! Oh look-- they're forming a shape. Hmmm. That looks a bit like a round little UFO.. WHAT? a UFO?? Where the fuck did the cloud-UFO come from? This lady has got SERIOUS ISSUES. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Then she walks off. Like looking at the clouds forming into a UFO shape is a normal, everday occurence. Ummhmmm. Right. Keep moving along folks! Just your average, every-day cloud-UFO. Keep it movin.
Ummkay.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Heh, gonna have to watch that under the effects of something methinks. Though for trippy films...you cant beat Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. RIP Hunter S Thompson.

birdie said...

I hear addiction is just the sign of a small wanker.

Anonymous said...

As a matter of fact, my brother died of a heroin overdose a few years back. Im not stupid enough to use anything strong and addictive. Well...apart from cigarettes, but we all have our little vices.