Wednesday, April 26, 2006

I Totally Support The Dental Industry

There are a lot of things I’ve done while on a sidewalk. 

I’ve walked down the streets of Manhattan with a mirror in one hand and mascara in the other.  I’ve yakked on my cellphone.  I even peed on a sidewalk in Spain once.  Granted, it was 2am but in my liquor-clouded head, peeing on the sidewalk was the only option. 

But never have I considered performing daily, hygienic practices while on a sidewalk; especially on a sidewalk I was traversing while sober.  (Barring the peeing incident, obviously.  Though that really wasn’t a hygienic practice, to be quite honest.)  It just seems infinitely futile to take a shower on a sidewalk, being as how this is a task better suited to an environment with running water.  Much as how it would seem equally futile, or maybe just ill-advised, to clean out one’s ears or perhaps cut one’s toenails on a sidewalk.

Which makes it all the more disturbing that the woman crossing Fifth and Rock streets this morning was sporting one of those vibrating toothbrushes all up in her oral cavity.  About every third step or so she’d reach up, grab the handle, and vigorously brush her teeth.  Once she stepped back up on the sidewalk, she stuck her tongue all the way out and methodically scraped, in three swift swipes, the top of her tongue, the bottom and then the top again. 

And at the time, it wasn’t so much the sidewalk toothbrushing that had me perplexed.  It was the fact that this was not a woman who appeared to be generally concerned with ANY hygienic practices, much less the daily brushing of the teeth.       

9 comments:

Carl from L.A. said...

There are so many homeless people here in L.A. that should anyone walking around with a toothbrush no one would notice.

Aren't those electric toothbrushes expensive? Would it belong to someone who does not appear to be hygienic? Could it have been carjacked??

Performing hygienic functions on the street could also get you fired. Case in point: a season or two ago on "The Apprentice" the two teams had to come up with a liquid soap commercial, and one team had the ridiculous idea of having people running down the street applying soap on their faces. (I forgot the big idea behind it.) Of course the Donald found it to be extremely stupid and promptly fired the PM's ass.

Drunken Chud said...

how did i know this post was going to be about sidewalk toothbrushing... like there was some foreshadowing or something...

carl, yeah, it was a body wash that was supposed "refresh and renew you" and the dumbasses had them putting body wash on your face. the models all told them it was stupid. but they didn't listen. but was it that PM that got fired? cuz i thought both PM's got called in cuz the company hated both ideas. meh. too long ago for me.

oakland heidi said...

ahhh... and then there are the people who pick their ears in public as though ear wax is a far superior secretion to buggers.

Coyote Mike said...

maybe she was just scraping off the residue of her morning "appointments".

PJ said...

i used to work in NYC and take the train in from NJ. i used to see the same guy on there all the time, picking his ears - i mean really digging at it - with his KEY. yes, i mean a car or house key.

every.single.time

Faltenin said...

Was she sipping a Starbucks she had in the other hand at the same time?

I wouldn't be surprised...

Barry S. said...

I thought for a second you actually saw someone washing themselves in the street. It was one of those moments where my thoughts were a step ahead of my reading skills.

Good thing it was only someone brushing their teeth while crossing traffic.

Jenni said...

For some strange reason it kind of grosses me out to see other people brush their teeth. Maybe it's just the spitting part. Yes, I want everyone to brush their teeth...I just don't wanna watch it.

Mia said...

I have a friend who brushes her hair walking down the street - it always seems a bit 'wrong' to me. So brushing teeth, yes thats even more so.