Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Spankalicious

I totally have The Clash’s ‘Rock the Casbah’ stuck in my head on repeat.  Unfortunately it’s been on repeat since 7:45 this morning so while the first few hours were spent mentally jamming out now I’m just unbelievably annoyed.  And since I opened my mouth and told everyone about my affliction I now hear it in surround sound as one of my coworkers will inevitably start to hum it just as my mental CD has finally stopped spinning, dashing my brief moment of peace and effectively hitting the Play button on my one-track mind. 

Every time I hear this song I think of ‘Bring it On,’ a movie with no redeeming qualities whatsoever unless you really dig cheerleaders, skimpy outfits, spanky pants and the gangly-armed simian antics of one Kirsten Dunst.  And while I’m really quite apathetic about the aforementioned qualifications for ‘Bring it On’ love, I can still admit to you, without shame, that I once downloaded and burned the opening cheer song and can even recite it, many years later, word for word.  Because who doesn’t love a song that involves the following lyrics:

I’m major!

I roar!

I swear I’m not a whore!

We cheer! And we lead!

We act like we’re on speed!

And while I’m relatively certain that ‘Rock the Casbah’ is not played in any ‘Bring it On’ movie montage, the dark-haired rebellious boy who eventually wins the heart of Kirsten ‘Cheertator’ Dunst sports a black t-shirt lauding the coolness of The Clash in their introductory scene.  Obviously this is a boy with whom we shall not trifle!  He wears black logo-emblazoned t-shirts without shame!

This rebellious young thing is the same boy who stood alongside Angelina Jolie way before she thought about exchanging tongue molecules and spit samples with her genetic sibling or even before she participated in inking the name of Billy Bob Thornton on her personage.  The movie was ‘Hackers’ and I heart everything about which is why when Mr. Black Shirt Rebellious Boy showed up with his lopsided grin I immediately recognized him as the brace-face teen who stores his hacking knowledge on floppy disks (oh, the floppy!) and assists in the hacking of the mainframe run by The Evil Guy with Plans For World Domination. 

 

In other news my toe hurts and I would like to amputate it. 

 

 

11 comments:

The Gnat's Trumpet said...

Sorry about your toe.

In other news, what I now believe to be your evil plan has worked (at least in my case) and Rock the Casbah is now firmly entrenched inside my head as well. If I could do my part to perpetuate your mental repeat cycle by humming it in your presence, I would.

By the way, I too think your writing is excellent, and kooky idea or not, I hope you are working on some kind of a book project. For what it's worth, feel free to put in your querry letters that I will buy it.

Coyote Mike said...

You could use your letter openner to amputate your toe. It might take a while, but still, you'd have the fun of using your letter openner.

the belligerent intellectual said...

I've seen "Bring It On" twice, but ONLY for the cheerleaders, skimpy outfits and jumping. Oh the jumping.

rob said...

"This isn't a democracy. It's a cheerocracy."

Anything with such groin-clenchingly bad lines as that is immediately deemed awesome by me.

Carl from L.A. said...

Us Chinese say - Do not remove a fly from your friend's forehead with a hatchet.

"Rock the Casbah" is a staple on my station, so a lot of times it comes on even when it's not in my head. It's a good thing that I like the song.

My wife used to cheer in college, so she got me not only into "Bring it on" - which is actually not a bad movie after many, many viewings - but also "Bring it on 2" and the current Lifetime reality show "Cheerleading Nation". Little Amanda will be a cheerleader someday, if my wife has her way.

Viscountess of Funk said...

Birdie:
I also watched "Bring It On" and repeated the opening scene a bunch of times. Made me wish I had been a cheerleader only so I could make up some really gnarly dirty cheers.

P.S. I saw the Clash in 1982 at the Kingdome. It rocked. Thanks for the memory.

Drunken Chud said...

i remember sitting in a bar with my buddy and hearin a will smith song. the both of us looked at the other and said, "is he sampling 'rock the casbah'?" and then "rock the casbah" was the hook. we laughed, we cried. whatever.

DON'T TALK SHIT ABOUT BRING IT ON! i can already see that my new favorite movie is going to be 'stick it'.

anyhow, the bad guy in haxxorz was "plague"... "hard copy... ech..."

Faltenin said...

How I love that song...

This should be Bush's plan for bringing democracy to the Middle East. Free iZillas with the Live Clash CD...

Texas Roxy said...

My right nip had a hair in it this morning. A rather long one. It freaked me out.
And my toe hurts too. :D

I'm sleep deprived due to a James Brown concert. Pay me no mind.

birdie said...

that was the best I've heard all day! thanks roxy!!
*blows kiss

Texas Roxy said...

YAY for hairy nips!

bwuahaha