Thursday, November 18, 2004

Mood Swings are Grand

Much like the title, there's been a bit of a mood swing today. Inner peace? Doubt it. Fluctuating hormones? Probably.

In all honesty, it wasn't that great of a day. The cats were abominably obnoxious this morning. I woke up to a screeching serenade from none other than the fattest cat alive and his miniscule accomplice. I ran late, per usual. And then I sat in the parking lot of retail hell for no less than 30 minutes desperately trying to convince myself that I did, in fact, have to go to work. I strolled in to work at 9:40. I avoided my boss as much as possible as I "forgot" about a retail training seminar I was supposed to attend on my day off. I sold a whopping $450 of shoes. -- And just in case you're wondering, that number might be just a touch below my sales goal.-- I avoided the speech impediment-ridden louse that insists upon invading my personal space. NO TOUCHY!! NO TOUCHY!! I skipped lunch so I could clock out at five.
On the way home I screamed myself hoarse at the idiots who plagued the roads on my way to Target to return a really unfortunate purchase of pink and green fisnets. (Holy monkey, what was I thinking? Pink AND green? It's like a sorority girl vomited on my legs.) And because of my choice to wear pretty shoes today -- red pointy high heeled cole haans that I've seriously thought about framing-- I couldn't walk fast enough to beat the unfortunately peroxidized woman with the large bag of returnables. And hence spent an interminable amount of time staring at the back of her neck and what is, I can only assume, a mole that she should REALLY think about having cut off. I then screamed some more at the mass of incompetents on the roads tonight. Went to Pizza D's. Ordered the usual. Smoked turkey sammich, no mayo, ranch on the side and fries. Came home. Went to friend's house. Watched The Apprentice. Rooted for control freak bitch to get kicked off. Smelled poo. Became concerned. Found poo under friend's table compliments of friend's dog. Gagged a little. Watched two of my friends get cranky and have a roommate fight. Sat on the front porch. Got yelled at by a homeless man who wanted a ciggy.

And then it hit me. I'm in a fucking good mood. Why? I dunno. I did have some peanut M&M's for lunch. My favorite. mmmmyummy. Lord only knows what would have happened if I had bought some of those little ferraro rocher balls. Or, God forbid, a box of Godiva. I could have been well on my way to solving the worlds economical crises. Or even world hunger. A cure for cancer. A vaccine for AIDS. Saved the whales.

And now my dearest little brother is cooking me his special: Eggs a la Matthew. (Eggs with cheese and spiciness) Nothing like a little protein before bed :)

And as soon as I eat my tasty and delicious bed-time snack, I will corale the kitty-monsters, wash my face, brush my teeth, comb my hair, get in my nightgown, grab my book and read until I fall asleep. And then I'll wake up tomorrow. And hopefully I will still have this fantastic attitude to get me through my day.

1 comment:

Ophelia said...

Ha! I like you're posting style! Blunt and brutally honest. The mole lady was great! Thanks for the late-night-i'm pathetic so i read blogs- entertainment.